Professional Fangirl

After much consideration, I have decided to add the term "Professional Fangirl" to my Facebook Bio. However, to me, the term "fangirl" doesn't necessarily mean what it means to most people. I'm aware that there are some insane people who take fandoms way too far and can even become violent in their love for something or someone, but I am not one of those people. In fact, I hate those people. I am simply a fan of a lot of different things. Movies, TV shows, bands, even some actors and actresses. But my main goal is supporting them and spreading the word about them, because they move something in me, and I simply want others to be moved as well. 

Here is the top description of a fangirl from Urban Dictionary: 

"A rabid breed of human female who is obesessed with either a fictional character or an actor. Similar to the breed of fanboy. Fangirls congregate at anime conventions and livejournal. They have been known to glomp, grope, and tackle when encountering said obsessions." 

Yeah, so that doesn't really describe me at ALL. While I am a fan of a lot of things, I definitely am not obsessed. And I most certainly would NEVER tackle someone just because I admired them for their work. Why would I want to hurt someone who inspires me? Admiration should come with RESPECT. If I were to meet my favorite director M. Night Shyamalan or my favorite band 30 Seconds To Mars, I would be excited, sure, but not to the point that I would scream in their faces and turn into an ape-like being with no sense to utter normal words.

Also, the Echelon (30 Seconds To Mars fan base) has some great people in it, but some are so insane that they will threaten people online with finding where they live, coming to their house, and killing them, just for being seen with Jared Leto (the band's singer). That's some pretty scary stuff. I do consider myself an Echelon, but there's no way in hell I'd be that crazy with it. Of course the guy has female friends and lovers. He's a musician. Why should I care what he does with his free time? As long as he and his fellow band members keep pumping out amazing music to strengthen and inspire me, I'm good. Thanks.

When Taylor Swift visited The Ellen Show  to promote her newly released album "Red" and perform a couple songs, I noticed that when she came out into the crowd of screaming fans, a few of them literally reached up and grabbed her, nearly pulling her from the stage. You could see it on her face - her guard was up. Luckily, she knew how to handle it, jerking her hand away with a smile, but I felt so bad for her and for all celebrities who get treated like this. I mean, this person is performing for you, and you're screaming so loud you can't even hear them? And you're really going to try and hurt them just so you can be near them? REALLY? Some people are crazy. Actually, most people are. I will never understand most fans and their mindless obsessions with other human beings just because of what they do. What happened to the days when people went to concerts to hear the music, not to try and get a piece of the musician?!? Sadly it seems those days are dead and gone. 

But anyway, I'm ranting. Where was I?

One thing I've noticed on Twitter is that celebrities typically do not respond to the crazy fans that tweet them constant praise for their work, and if they DO respond or retweet and that person freaks out, throwing up all over the internet, it's over. That celebrity will probably never talk to that fan again. However, when you treat a celebrity like a NORMAL person (which is what they are) the chances that they will respond to you are so much higher. I know this from experience. And I HATE when a twitter account fills their bio with "So and so retweeted me" or "followed by so and so" - Um, HELLO, bio's are supposed to tell people about YOU, not about what a nut you are. That is the one sure way I for one WON'T follow you on Twitter. I mean, some of my favorite celebrities and TV shows have replied, retweeted, and followed me on Twitter, but it's no big deal. Know why? Because they're just another person! And I guarantee you I wouldn't have had the continued relationships I've formed with some of them if I had been like "OMG OMG OMG YOU JUST REPLIED TO ME OMFG AAAHHH!!!" LOL. That's annoying. Not only to the person you're addressing, but to everyone who sees it. You have to put yourself in the other person's shoes when talking to someone. And that goes for anyone, not just celebrities. 

But I'm ranting again. What is this about? Oh, right, being a professional fangirl. 

 Whereas regular fangirls might be crazy like that, I feel that the term "professional" fangirl describes someone who is a fan but doesn't go crazy over things, or people. That might not be the official definition of it, but that's how I feel. I am labeling myself as such because I am simply inspired by certain music, TV shows, movies, and people to be who I am. To live the life I want to live. It's hard to explain, but in a way my love for these things is a way of expressing myself, and even defining myself. My love of Daenerys Targaryen from Game of Thrones represents the side of me that is a warrior. My love of science fiction (such as Defiance and Mass Effect) is a reflection of my desire to explore the unknown and to evolve as a human being and a race as a whole. And I could go on and on, but there are pieces of me in the things I love, and therefore I love sharing them with the world, because it's part of who I am in a sense. Even if I end up a celebrity myself, I'll probably always continue to love and support and appreciate good movies, music, TV, ETC. I don't think I'll ever be able to explain it no matter how much I type, so I leave you with a list of some TV shows I'm considered a fan of.

Being Human (Syfy)
Defiance (Syfy)

Game of Thrones (HBO)
True Blood (HBO)

The Vampire Diaries (CW)
 Beauty and the Beast (CW)
Nikita (CW)

Enlightened (Cancelled by HBO)
The Secret Circle (Cancelled by CW)

Teen Wolf (MTV)

Bomb Girls (Reelz)

Vikings (H2)


You can find me fangirling regularly on Twitter and Facebook.
I also create fan art sometimes. Check it out ;)

Random Revew: Sarah McLachlan

Sarah McLachlan is one of my main musical influences. People used to call me Kylie McLachlan :p Her music was a huge part of my childhood, as my mother & her friends would listen to her album "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy" frequently. Basically my childhood consisted of music from The Eagles, Fleetwood Mac, & this woman. & to this day she is one of my favorites.

"Fumbling Towards Ecstasy" is not only my favorite album of Sarah's, but one of my favorite albums of all time. It's rare to find an album I can listen to straight through without skipping a single song, & this is one of those rare cases where every single song on the album is a precious jewel. The feeling of it is so haunting & emotional, & the style is unique to Sarah. 

If I had to choose, my favorite songs from "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy" would probably be "Possession" (based on a letter from a crazed fan), "Mary" (which i think is about about motherhood & growing old but many see a religious or environmental meaning), "Fear" (a unique ballad in which she hits crazy high notes), & of course "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy" (the title track). 

I love listening to this album straight through, especially the last two songs. Here's why: "Fear" is the trembling confession of a little girl who is afraid of love, stating "There's nothing I'd like better than to fall, but I fear I have nothing to give." & directly after that song appears a calm & focused grown woman on the beautiful title track, which states repeatedly "I won't fear love" finishing the album with hope. It's hard not to tear up listening to it. 

It is this perfectly amazing placement of songs, combined with Sarah's beautiful voice & intricate compositions & harmonies, that make "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy one of the best albums of all time.

 

The magic doesn't stop there though. Sarah has released many more amazing albums since then, such as "Surfacing" & "Afterglow" & from these albums some more songs I adore, such as "Adia" & "Witness" from "Surfacing" & "Fallen" & "Stupid" from "Afterglow" but as beautiful & intense as these albums are, my favorite is still "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy" & it probably always will be.

Another great album, believe it or not, was the live album "Mirrorball" - I ran that album into the ground. In my opinion, the energy & composition of each song is even better live, which is difficult to find in an artist. Here are two songs from that album to prove it. From the Mirrorball DVD:

I'll Get By (Newest Video)

Footage: Alice In Wonderland.

Music: "Alice" by Avril Lavigne (from the soundtrack). 

 

I have overcome a lot in my lifetime. Rape, heartbreak, suicidal thoughts...  But all these things are mortal enemies, and they CAN be defeated. This video is my declaration of that fact. Not only for myself, but for whoever watches it. There IS hope. You are NOT alone. I founded a support group in 2008 called RISE (Rape Incest & Suicide Education). Check it out if you're interested. 

I experimented more with this video than I ever have, and I really hope you like it! I'm currently fighting yet another battle with a crippling injury called sciatica, and I was going to wait until I had completely defeated it before uploading this video, but then I decided to upload it anyway, as a sign of good faith. Because I've already survived so much, I'm not going to let this pain take me down. I've come a long way already, so here's to a full recovery!

I hope that whatever you're going through, or whatever you have gone through in the past, you can overcome it and RISE above it. And I hope this video gives you the strength to do that, like it's done for me. :)

Here it is: 

Until next time. Be The Lightning. ;)

 

 

Random Review: Beth Quist & Lucidity

Here's my review of Beth Quist from Get Glue:

When I was 10 years old, my mother and I were living in Boulder with my mother's then-boyfriend, who was also a musician and had a little recording studio in his home, and Beth would come over all the time to record her album "Lucidity" which was released in 1995.

I remember sitting there listening to her record one vocal track for a song, then another, and another, until she had beautiful songs filled with intricate harmonies. She also played the instruments. She is really a very talented lady if you think about it. 

Thanks to the daily repetition of recording, I already knew each song by heart by the time "Lucidity" was done, but surprisingly, I didn't get sick of it. I listened to my copy of the CD pretty regularly. My favorite songs were the upbeat and attitude-driven "American Giver" fueled by the drum beats of a doumbek, the sweet sounding "Mourning Dove" which literally sounded like flying, and the sorrowful "Goodbye" in which she hit the high the notes beautifully. "Crazy" and "Prodigy" were also amazing songs.

I haven't heard her newer music, as we moved away and lost touch not long later, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that Beth had more of an influence on me over the years than I thought. I later started recording my own vocal tracks, and then going back and recording another track, harmonizing with myself, until there were sometimes up to 10 tracks of harmony. I guess this idea kind of came from her in a way, so, thanks Beth. ;) 

Below is the only video I could find on Youtube with one of the mentioned songs in it:

Beth is still making music, and she now performs with Cirque Du Soleil! How cool is that?!? You can find her on Facebook, on Twitter, and on Youtube. 

This has been a Random Review from your friendly neighborhood Kylie Kerosene. Have a good week! 

 

Suicide Prevention Week

According to To Write Love On Her Arms, this week is National Suicide Prevention Week, and today (September 10th) is World Suicide Prevention Day. 

As you may already know, I founded R.I.S.E. (Rape Incest & Suicide Education) which aims to help those struggling with suicide to RISE above it and heal. Below is something I said to someone struggling with the loss of a loved one to suicide:

When we lose someone, especially in such a horrible way, such as suicide, it's important to remember them not for the way they left us, but for the way they lived. In stead of remembering all the grief caused by their passing, choose to remember all the good times you shared. That is the part of them that will live on forever. In the words of Dr. Seuss, "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."

I thought the above quote was perfect for this day. A day when so many are grieving their lost loved ones. Sometimes all we need is someone to listen to us with an understanding heart. That's why RISE is here. If you've lost someone to suicide, please reach out and talk to someone. And if you are having suicidal thoughts yourself, we are here for you too. Suicide is not the answer. Please reach out to someone. In addition to R.I.S.E. , here is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 

I'm no professional, and I've never personally lost anyone I loved to suicide, but I have come close a few times, and it is a scary thing. I can only imagine how awful it must be to lose a loved one to suicide, but just try to remember all the good times you shared with them. 

I've also had suicidal thoughts many times throughout my life, and if you're struggling, I can tell you it gets better. Whatever you might be struggling with, it's never worth taking your own life. Suicide doesn't make things better, it only eliminates the chances of things getting better! 

 Whether you are suffering from the loss of a loved one to suicide, or whether you yourself are suffering from depression and suicidal thoughts, I can only say one thing: 

You Are Not Alone!

I leave you with the latest R.I.S.E. video:

Keep Rising! 

-Kylie Kerosene 

(R.I.S.E. Founder) 

First. Blog. Ever.

I realized yesterday that it's kind of blasphemous for a writer such as myself to not have a blog. So, here I am. I've been writing for years, but I'm only now starting my very first blog. I feel like a kid. I'm way out of my league. But I figure if everybody else can do it, why can't I? Birds fly over the rainbow, so why can't I?!?

...Anyway... 

Where to start? 

I guess I'll "introduce myself" for those who don't know who I am and what I do.

 I'm a writer (in case you didn't catch that the first time). I began writing poetry when I was a little girl living in New Mexico, then poems turned into songs after my mother and I moved to Colorado, and then I started attempting to write short stories and novels. Back then, they were about things like fairies and princesses. I mean come on, I was a little girl. But now I'm all grown up, and the subject matter has changed. I'm currently working on a novel called Undying. It's the first book in a science fiction trilogy. It's been called "Twilight for robots" among other things. I can't say too much about it, except that it's more epic than I ever anticipated, and I'm so excited to get it out there.

I'm also a musician. Or at least I try to be. My mother (and everyone else in my life) was very musical when I was growing up. She taught piano, played the guitar, and sang. So of course it wasn't long until I was following in her footsteps. When my mother would give her piano lessons in the living room, I would hear them from my bedroom. One day, after a student left, I came out of my room, sat down at the piano, and played exactly what she had been teaching her student, simply from hearing it from the other room. After that, music exploded into my life, and I've been writing songs ever since, while attempting to play the piano, guitar, and penny whistle. I've had a few music projects over the years. My current project is TwinStar, which I started with my husband when we met. We mostly write songs inspired by themes and characters in horror and science fiction films. TwinStar can be found on Facebook, Youtube, and the long-forgotten Myspace. I am also working on getting some of my solo music out there, but we'll see what happens.

And, last but not least, I am a video editor. When I was young, I used to listen to music and make up little videos to the songs in my head. I would annoy my mother and whoever else was around with my little "timelines" of my imaginary music videos. I don't think I even knew what a music video was at that point, much less that I could actually be making them. Then, when I was a teenager living in Lexington KY, a family friend introduced me to video editing, and it was instantly my number one passion. I could finally get what was in my head out there for other people to see. It's been about 10 years, and it's still my passion. I make music videos of movies and video games on Youtube, and I also make videos for my support group R.I.S.E.

Speaking of which, I founded R.I.S.E. (Rape Incest & Suicide Education) in 2008, to help spread the word about these epidemics, and to help victims and survivors RISE above the past and begin healing. I've met some wonderful people over the years, some of which are kind enough to help out with R.I.S.E. I'm so grateful to them. Together, we are hopefully saving lives by helping people see that they are not alone, and that suicide is not the answer. If you're interested for any reason, we are on Facebook, Youtube, and Twitter. Also, our Spokesperson Rindi runs a blog for R.I.S.E.

I have yet to make any kind of profit from any of the activities above, but I don't mind. It's not about money. It's about doing what I love.

Other than all that, I'm just a woman, living in Kentucky, playing video games, listening to music, and watching movies and television. Wow, that sounds boring. Oh, also, I'm on an eternal quest to find the meaning of life, and to evolve as much as I can while I'm here. But aren't we all? ...Wait... Don't answer that...

In this thing we call a blog, I will post updates on projects I'm working on, random ramblings for your reading pleasure, and movie reviews and things of that nature. I will try to post once a week. But we'll see what happens.

This has been a blog (specifically the first blog ever) from your friendly neighborhood Kylie Kerosene. Yes, I stole that line from Spider-Man. I forgot to tell you I'm also a bit of a nerd. Surprise!