Interview With Zenobia Southcombe

It's been a while since I've interviewed anyone, so when Zenobia Southcombe asked for one, I jumped on it. Not just because it's been a while, but because Zenobia & I have something very special in common. We are Jills Of All Trades.

While most people are just writers, or just artists, or just musicians, we do it all. People like us were told when we were young that we could do anything we put our minds to, & somewhere deep inside we took that to mean we could do EVERYTHING we put our minds to. So, we do. Or at least we try to.

In Zenobia's case, it seems to be working. 

What IS her secret? & what is it that puts the fire in her veins? 

Find out now in my interview with her:

Kylie: Your book "What Stars Are Made Of" (which looks amazing) proves that a picture really IS worth 1,000 words. No words in the book? None at all? I'm impressed! How did you go about telling a story using only illustrations, & what gave you this brilliant idea?

Zenobia: I'd liked the idea of a wordless book since I “read” Shaun Tan's The Arrival so I guess the idea came from there. At that point in time, The Caretaker of Imagination was with my illustrator and its final beta readers and I needed a project to sink my teeth into.

Part of it was down to a stubborn streak, too - my writerly confidence could do with a boost and I really wanted to have something published by the end of the year.

In terms of telling the story, I did have to change the illustrations around a few times (I checked with some teacher-friends to see if the narrative was clear) and I added an extra couple in. I storyboarded the whole thing first and tried to use images and symbols that were simple and universal.

K: For me, music is an essential part of writing & illustrating. Do you use music to get the creative juices flowing? & if so, what bands or songs tend to be your go-to for inspiration?

Z: Yes, definitely! I noticed while drafting that I tend to listen to nineties music. Don't ask me why! Disney music does it for me while I'm brainstorming, and Robert Mile's track Children gets me focused no matter what. I swear it's magic. My all time favourites are the Beatles though (talk about creativity and imagination) and at the moment I'm going through a Paul Simon phase.

K: Being a fellow Jill Of All Trades, I know it can be extremely hard to stay focused & to not go crazy. What are some methods you use to stay on track when you've got so many different things going on at once? Do you schedule different projects for different times of the day? Do you make a list of everything you're working on? Do tell, because I MUST know your secret :)

Z: Ha! I don't have a secret - sorry! I do have a few strategies though, and it's probably easier to list them:

• People! I find that surrounding myself with other creatives - people who get excited about the same things that I do - keep my energy up so I don't burnout before the end of a project.
• Accountability - social media and blogging is great for this. If I'm sharing progress on a project, people become involved in the project as well, so if you don't pull through then you're letting them down as well.
• I do have a yearly planner. I've actually just changed my schedule a bit, but it means I'm not trying to keep timelines in my head.
• I also have a daily planner, where I write my to-do lists. I usually cross off 50-75% of the tasks, and the rest carry over to the next day.
• …but I give myself days off as well. Every now and again I'll scratch a page out and that's my 'day off'. I usually end up doing some sort of work, but it's whatever I feel like doing at the time - not what I think I should be doing.
• In terms of daily routine, I'm trying to build a morning walk in first, then I do my day-job prep work for up to an hour, and I'm left with four hours of writing work. I don't break this down further - it just depends on what project I'm working on at the time.

K: Most writers tend to worship coffee as the bringer of life (insert choir of angels here) but you prefer tea. What's your absolute favorite kind of tea?

Z: Aw no fair, I have to choose ONE? I'm going to be a rebel and choose two - one is Twining's New Zealand Earl Grey which uses mandarin instead of bergamot, and has a very subtle sweetness. The other is chai masala (literally 'spiced tea') which I make with Irish Breakfast or Assam tea and add black pepper, star anise, cloves, cinnamon and honey… yum!

K: I love chai too! Good stuff :) Speaking of favorites, out of all the visual art you've done, what is your favorite piece? & can you share it with us? Pretty please?

Z: What's up with the hard questions, Kylie!? My favourite is actually one I ended up throwing away! It was an antique-style map, and was a project I did during the school holidays when I was a teacher. The reason I loved it is that it got me back into painting after a LONG hiatus, and the reason I threw it away is the same - it became a big reminder of a person that I didn't want to become again.

K: Your next book "The Caretaker Of Imagination" looks like a fun read. & this one DOES have words, right? Other than that, how is this book different from your last one, & how did it come about?

Z: Yes, thousands of words in fact! It's definitely more commercial, as it sits in the MG Fantasy & Adventure genre well, whereas What Stars Are Made Of sits outside of customary genres. Having said that, The Caretaker is still a bit 'offbeat' - I mean, it's a kid's story with a grown-up protagonist, and it's got a cake-loving pirate. Not your stock standard fantasy.

There is similarity in the themes of both books though: the essence of What Stars Are Made Of  is about the beauty and creative light that is within all of us, and in many ways that is what the protagonist's journey is about in The Caretaker of Imagination as well.

K: I know you have another project up your sleeve (people like us always do). Can you divulge any information about what we can expect from you next?

Z: Well, there are two more (stand alone) books the The Caretaker series, which will hopefully be released in July & October this year. The second book, Lucy's Story: The End of the World is in its 4th round of revisions, and currently with my illustrator, Jane Thorne. The third book is being drafted as we speak!

There's also another project that I'm working as an illustrator on, and I haven't said a lot about this one yet. I do drawing sessions with my friend Anne, and she's an amazing story teller. My illustrator is working on a kid's book that she wrote years ago and we're going to publish that this year, and she has a wordless book (yay!) project for me to illustrate. It's called Animal Heaven and you'll hear more about this after The Caretaker is released!

AND I'm working on merchandise at the moment! Ain't no rest for the creative :)

Ain't that the truth! 

Thanks to Zenobia for taking the time out of her busy schedule to answer my (sometimes hard) questions! For more on this wonderful Jill Of All Trades, you can check out her website, & you can follow her on Twitter & Google+. 

Thanks for reading! 

Be The Lightning,

Kylie Jude.

}i{

Author Interview: Ray Davis

I'm so excited to bring you a new interview with one of my favorite online acquaintances, fellow writer and alien theorist, Ray Davis. If you haven't heard of him yet, don't worry, you will. His new novel series Anunnaki Awakening is going to be pretty epic. You'll want to check it out, believe me. I'm honored to host him and to have these questions answered so perfectly. Read on and you'll see what I mean: 

1. First things first! Can you introduce yourself for those who may not know you?

First of all, thank you, Kylie, for the opportunity to introduce myself to your readers. My name is Ray Davis and I'm a writer. I've done many things in my life to pay the bills. Writing has been the one constant from a very early age.

By day, I write sales training for a Fortune 500 company. At night, I write philosophical and motivational content encouraging people to take a second look at themselves and their world; on the premise there might be more there than their conditioning has led them to believe. Most recently, I have been engaged in writing Book 1 of my speculative fiction novel series - Anunnaki Awakening.

My wife, April, and I live in Kansas City area, but our hearts are always in Hawaii. We travel there each year and our big goal is to live there one day. We have two grown kids – a son and a daughter. We’ve got a wedding coming this November and another one likely in the near future. So, we're on the verge of being full-fledged empty-nesters.

I'm a “what you see is what you get” person. I love sports, music, and travel, but my life experiences have demanded that I look out into the cosmos and within to seek answers to life's big questions.

2. I'm loving the theme of your book, Anunnaki Awakening. I too have drawn on these beings (as well as others) for inspiration in future novels. Can you tell us more about why you decided to use the Anunnaki in your novels, and how that came about?

Thank you. The answer to this question alone might fill a book. I didn't set out to write this book. In 2007, I started a website called The Affirmation Spot. Until about eight months ago, most people in social media knew me for that endeavor. As I was encouraging people to follow their dreams, I realized I wasn't pursuing mine - to be a published author with something important to say.

I'm a life-long science fiction fan - especially Star Trek. I really enjoyed Gene Roddenberry's positive view of humanity and its future. I'd seen a string of dystopian science fiction movies - which I enjoy as much as the next person - but I began to feel as if the genre had gone rather negative on humanity's prospects. I wanted to write something brighter that pointed more to our potential than our doom.

I thought this book was going to be about building an interesting story around my mission of empowerment with The Affirmation Spot. I had already developed my heroine character - Maria Love - and began writing a book with a tentative title of The Future Possible.

I was home alone one Saturday in 2009 and turned on a new TV show I'd heard about. That show was Ancient Aliens. They asked, "What if it were all true?" I immediately followed with, "What if it were still true?" What if there was a common sense explanation for why humanity continues to be led against its best interest? What if there was a reason human beings have this negative default setting and go about their lives ignoring big questions and accepting our institution's simple answers?

As I watched, I realized this topic had been sitting in my life's waiting room for years. I'd always gravitated to shows like Coast to Coast A.M. I'd read the works of people like Von Daniken and Sitchin. The seed was planted at the age of six. My father took me to see Von Daniken's Chariots of the Gods in its original theater run. I was hooked and it all made so much sense to me.

This topic - with its philosophical, religious, and scientific overtones - demanded my mind share. Within a few days the Inanna character showed up. She’s the co-heroine in Anunnaki Awakening. She's the member of the Anunnaki elite who is rebelling against the age-old control of humanity by her race.

The purpose, storyline, and tone of the book shifted. It still presents a hopeful vision for humanity and our future, but we have to clean some old wounds first.

3. Will you be taking the traditional publishing route, or the independent route? And which one would you recommend for 'noobs' like me?

This is actually my first novel too. I considered many options and have wavered back and forth on this topic. I see benefits to self-publishing and today it's a great way to break in, prove your audience, and get picked up by a major publisher. It's also the best way to maintain control of your work.

Traditional publishing offers the benefits of a backer that knows the ropes and can help you promote the work. However, you also lose your artistic control and there is a lot of subject matter - important subject matter - medium to larger publishers won't support.

I'm fortunate in that a friend in Hawaii started a publishing company a couple years ago. He's publishing both serious authors and those who have a story to tell and want to publish it. He has a mission to help hundreds of thousands of people tell their story and earn income from it. His name is Larry Czerwonka. He owns the LarryCzerwonka Publishing Company of Hilo, HI. He will be publishing my first book.

4. Could have fooled me! Already a pro. :) Changing the subject a bit, you've posted a lot about aliens and your belief that we aren't alone (with which I agree wholeheartedly). Can you summarize your theories on this topic?

I don't know if it was Star Trek from the age of three or something I was just predisposed to know. I've never doubted for a moment that our universe is bursting with life. To me that's a given.

It's a topic we, as species, must become more adult about. It’s treated in juvenile ways belying its critical importance. All of our institutions are so Earth-centric. We may have discovered the Sun doesn't go around the Earth, but our mindset still is that everything else does.

I've never understood why religious and scientific people seem so threatened by this concept. Aliens don't preclude God, but God doesn't preclude aliens either. Why must it be one or the other?

As for the scientific point of view, there seems to be this overwhelming disposition towards denial rather than acceptance on this topic. There’s more effort at ridicule than research. Large segments of mainstream science simply will not even follow the scientific method related to evidence on extraterrestrials and UFOs. I find that puzzling.

I've talked to numerous scientifically minded people online that LOVE science fiction and thinking about alien life in that context, but run screaming when you try to have a serious conversation about its reality. I can only chalk that kind of behavior by intelligent people up to fear and conditioning. They don't want someone to put the proverbial "tin foil hat" on their heads. So, the topic goes largely without discussion.

In Anunnaki Awakening, I play heavily on these themes. One must ask why this is the conditioning? Why are human beings - inquisitive as we are - not eager and ready to embrace other life in this universe? When you watch the pattern of media and other "official" comment on this topic, it's almost universally ridiculed. People in our culture are very conscious about being cool. It’s a very powerful societal control mechanism. If it's clearly delineated as uncool, people stay away.

I see extraterrestrial life to be a VERY sober and important subject for our planet and our species. My question is how can civilization that relies on internal combustion engine definitively conclude interstellar space travel impossible? They can't, but they are.

Then there's the separate - but possibly related - issue of UFOs. I've had several sightings in my life that defy explanation. Both the object's appearance and behavior were extraordinarily bizarre. Two of my sightings felt very personal and happened within a few weeks of each other in 1991. I've described these in various places online.

The third happened during a red-eye flight from New York to Chicago in December 2007. While over Lake Michigan, a bright, undefined light rose rapidly from below right in the middle of commercial flight pattern with at least three other planes besides ours waiting to land in Chicago. Two objects, easily identified as fighters, appeared to be in pursuit of the object. The first object was faster, more maneuverable, and eventually shot straight up leaving the two fighters in the dust. The big question for me, if this was just some kind of experimental aircraft, is why the military would be conducting such maneuvers late at night in the midst of several commercial jets?

• Do I think we’ve been visited by extraterrestrial beings? Absolutely. 
• Do I think it's been going on throughout our history? Yes.
• Do I think all UFOS are aliens? No. I think there’s a mix of causes that may include life forms that inhabit this planet without our knowledge.
• Do I think there are millions of civilizations out in that vast darkness? Yes. Many of them are probably wondering if they’re all alone too. They’re going about the daily life of their civilizations thinking they, too, are the center of everything.
• Do I think our governments are aware of this phenomenon? Some governments, I believe, know more than others. It probably depends on what you mean by "the government.” I posit some possibilities in the novel.

5. Well said! And, last but not least, what can we expect from you in the future?

I’m so appreciative, Kylie, for your kind interview request. I’m honored to have a chance to share ideas with your readers.

I've already begun Book 2 in the Anunnaki Awakening series. I've set my personal goal to become a full-time author living and working in Hawaii in the next few years. Book 3 is outlined, but I enjoy letting the story come to me rather than mapping it all out ahead of time. It will probably change.

After this series, I may return to a novel I started in 2004 titled Weather Wars. I stopped writing it when Hurricane Katrina too closely mirrored an event I'd written just weeks before in that book.

I'm hoping Anunnaki Awakening will catch on with readers. My beta readers are giving me great feedback about how the story is pulling them in. I'd like to see it become a hit and be turned into a movie. I figure if vampires and child witches can hit it big, why not aliens?

I definitely see that being a good possibility! And I definitely know the feeling! I truly hope it happens. It's awesome to know there are other people out there on the same page as me about this stuff, and maybe even on the same mission ;)

If you're on the same page too, please follow Ray on Twitter and like his Facebook page. He posts great thought-provoking stuff, and is a really nice guy. And you'll want to be up to date with the latest on his books, which are coming soon! He's also founded a great site for writers (and everyone) with tons of positive affirmations and more, if you want to check it out too. I'm truly excited about everything he's doing, and I can't wait to see him take the world by storm. :)

Be the lightning,

Kylie Jude.

}i{

Author Interview: Eric Jude

That's right, for this post I'm interviewing my wonderful husband (who also happens to be an author) Eric Jude (also known as D.R. Acula). Eric has been so supportive and helpful over the years, and he is always the first person I run to with my crazy novel ideas, and he always gives me his honest opinion. He is the brain power behind a lot of the technical stuff in my coming Science Fiction novels, and I'm so grateful for his help. But I'll bet most of you didn't know that he is an author himself! He wrote his first Ebook "How To Successfully Cope With Life" a couple years back, and has recently started a series of short stories in the Horror genre, called #AlderdiceTales (which I had the pleasure of editing for him). And yes, I do use the hashtag every chance I get. And you should too. ;) 

Anyway, obviously I know most of these answers, but for the sake of readers who don't, I decided to ask Eric some questions. Enjoy! 

When did you start writing? 

 I've written for years. Started writing in elementary school, but I've never finished a writing project until now. 

What inspired the Alderdice Tales? 

I just wanted to write... I was sitting around and decided I wanted to write a story. And I played with a few ideas... Then the opening lyrics of a My Dying Bride Song called "My Hope, the Destroyer" gave me a burst of creativity and I went with it for the opening of 'Bennet'. The name 'Nettie' wasn't inspired by the Type O Negative song of the same name, but once I came up with the name, elements of the song started finding their way in the stories. After that, the story inspired itself...

How many more stories do you plan to release under Alderdice Tales? 

I have two written so far, 'Bennet' and 'Nettie' and I plan on finishing at least two more. I say at least, because these stories seem to have a life of their own now, so who knows what could happen. I sure don't...

Planning on writing anything else after this? 

Sure, I plan on writing and releasing another short story series. Don't want to give too much away yet though.

What advice do you have for writers or those who want to write? 

Just write... You may come up with tons of stuff you don't like, or stuff that isn't very good, but it's all in the name of practice and refining your skills... Eventually you will know yourself and your style... That's when you can really sit down and let the creativity pour out of you. 

What non-writing projects are you working on? 

Music, photography, gardening... Various little projects that I work on in my spare time. I spend a great deal of my time photographing wildlife and nature in general. Flora and Fauna, mostly... I also compose a little music here and there for the purpose of passing the time... I enjoy the rewarding bliss of the rural countryside over the hectic city. Been doing lots of farming and yard work, camping, fishing, pretty much all of the outdoor activities. I even sometimes write outside.

Well, there you have it. He gets straight to the point. 

And, like me, music inspires his stories.

If you want to check out his #AlderdiceTales, here are all of the links: 

Book One - Bennet:

Smashwords

Barnes & Noble

ibooks/itunes

Amazon

Kobo

Bilo

 Book Two - Nettie:

Smashwords

Barnes & Noble

ibooks/itunes

Amazon

Bilo

Be the lightning,

Kylie Jude

(Previously Kylie Kerosene)

}i{

Reviews - Guest Blog with author Rayne Hall

I have the pleasure of following author and editor Rayne Hall on Twitter, and I always find her conversations very informative and engaging. Rayne has written many books, most of which are designed to help authors strengthen their writing, which, as a writer myself, I appreciate. She has offered two previously published pieces for this blog, both about reviews. I have split this blog up into 2 parts. The first part is for readers, and the second part is for writers. Enjoy!

* * *

READERS: 

The question Rayne tackles in this post is "Are Indie Books Worth Reviewing?" When I hear this question, my mind automatically screams, "YES!" If any book needs reviewing, it is an indie book, and I don't think indie books are any less worthy of reviews than other books. Here's what Rayne Hall had to say about it:

* * *

ARE INDIE BOOKS WORTH REVIEWING?

by Rayne Hall

Certain book blogs state categorically that they won't review self-published books.  I understand their motivation: They get inundated with submissions and are trying to keep the numbers down.

However, No Indies is as arbitrary as No Jews or No Women.

The reviewers aim to filter out low-quality works - but is the publishing method a valid quality filter?

It used to be. In the late 20th century, the established path to publication was author-agent-publisher-bookseller-reader. Each book had to pass three gates on its journey from author to reader, and each gate represented a quality test. Self-published books were inevitably those that had failed at the first two gates.

Times have changed. E-publishing makes it possible to reach the readers directly, and many authors choose the direct route instead of queuing at the gates.

Without gatekeepers barring entry, many poorly-written and under-revised books get published. A lot of indie (i.e. self-published) books are not as good as their authors think. Frankly, there's a mass of indie dross - but there are also many indie gems.

The boundary between “good book” and “bad book” doesn't happen to coincide with the frontier between indie-published and traditional-published books.

Consider the authors who use both publishing models: Amanda Hocking, John Locke and Michael Stackpole submit some of their works to traditional publishers and self-publish others. Are these authors' traditional-published books better than their self-published ones?

Or how about the authors were successful with traditional-published books, but then decided to go indie? Consider Joe Konrath, Barry Eisler, and Dean Wesley Smith. Have they lost their ability to write good books?

Then there are the authors who took their previously traditional-published out-of-print books and self-published them as ebooks -  Kristine Kathryn Rusch and Piers Anthony, for instance. The books are the same, so how can they suddenly be less worthy?

Over three decades, I had twenty books published by several traditional publishers before choosing the indie route. Does this mean my old books are worth reviewing, and my new books are not - even though I have grown as a writer?

Not long ago, a book blogger approached me. She had enjoyed the stories in Six Scary Tales Vol. 1 and asked for review copies of Vol. 2 and 3, so she could review the series. Shortly after I sent the books, I received an email “Your books are self-published and therefore not worth reading or reviewing.”

Excuse me? When she assumed that the books were traditional-published, she liked the stories and wanted more. On discovery that they were indie-published, the same stories were suddenly not worth reading. What does this say about the reviewer's judgement?

Most stories in the Six Scary Tales series were originally published the traditional way in magazines and anthologies. Did inclusion in the self-published collection damage their quality?

I appreciate that book bloggers decline to read certain books, e.g. No Erotica, No Horror or No Romance, because if a book isn't to their taste, it would be tedious to read and difficult to review.

But to decline all indie-published books because they can't possibly be good is like refusing to read books penned by women or by Jews because no woman or Jew could possibly write something worth reading.

So how can a book reviewer assess which books are worth reading? I think the answer is obvious: by looking at the book itself. Reading the first few pages will show the reviewer whether it's their kind of book. Often, a quick glance at the first paragraph is enough to weed out the obvious dross. If reviewers can't form their own opinion of what they're reading, they shouldn't be reviewing books.

 * * *

 WRITERS: 

If you've ever published a book, you probably know what it's like to receive a negative review. I haven't published yet, so I haven't had the "pleasure" of negative reviews yet, but I know I'll get them. Who doesn't? Not everyone will love your book. That doesn't always mean it's bad, it just means it's not for everyone. What I plan to do, and what I suggest other writers do, is to #1: See negative reviews as a learning experience (at least the ones that are negative for a good reason), and #2: Learn to laugh at negative reviews (especially the ones that are negative for silly reasons). Here are some hilarious negative reviews from Rayne Hall:

* * *

FUNNY NEGATIVE BOOK REVIEWS

I love it when readers who enjoyed my books post positive reviews on Amazon, Goodreads and elsewhere – but negative reviews can be even more fun.

Here's a selection of my favourites I've received over the years:

Storm Dancer (dark epic fantasy novel)

“This book is too long. I had to spend many hours reading it. I'm busy and have other things to do.”

“The character of Queen Matilda is not believable” There's no Queen Matilda in the book.

“Animal lovers: Do not buy this book! They don't just sacrifice humans, but horses as well.”

“The women in this story are not as obedient as the Bible says women were in those days.”

“The book didn't end how I thought it would.”

Bites: Ten Tales of Vampires (short story anthology)

“The vampires in this book aren't like Edward Cullen. Most of them totally creep me out.”

“I could have written a vampire story as good as any in this book if the editor had asked me.”

Daughters of the Dragon (non-fiction)

“How dare this author write about women in China? I checked her credentials: she does not have a degree in sinology.”

Living&Working in Britain (non-fiction)

“I've spent three weeks in that country. Trust me, it's not at all like this.”  The author lives in that country.

“If I had time, I'd dash off a book like this myself.”

Living&Working in Germany (non-fiction)

“This is not how I imagine Germany to be.”

“Clearly, the author has never met a real German”  The author is a real German.

How To Be A Freelance Journalist (non-fiction)

“I don't want to do all this work. I just want to be a journalist.”

Writing Fight Scenes (non-fiction)

“I skipped the first twenty chapters because there was nothing of interest in them. I wanted to know how to structure a fight scene and the book doesn't show that.” Chapter 3 is titled “Structure”.

Writing Scary Scenes (non-fiction)

“I don't need a book to teach me how to write.”

“I haven't read this book because I don't need to read it to know it's bad.”

Haunted: Ten Tales of Ghosts (short story anthology)

“I had made reservation and on the date I was to go I had a very bad cold and fever and I called them to change my reservation and they refused.”

“I haven't read it yet, but Amazon pressed me for a review.”

Six Scary Tales Vol. 1

“What a rip-off! This book contains only six stories!”

“These tales are not scary. There's not one single chainsaw massacre, not even a disemboweling.”

“I didnt even get through the first story cause when i was reading it to my mom therebwere some inapropreate words.”

Six Historical Tales Vol 1

“I hate it when writers use British English. They should learn to write proper English before publishing a book.”

“These stories are not 'historical.' Nobody gets married.”

*

Since some of these reviews were written many years ago and I no longer have access to them, I've quoted them from memory. The precise wording may have been different.

*

Negative reviews from someone who clearly doesn't get it can be annoying – but they can also be a source of hilarity.

I've browsed some review sites and found these disdainful comments on famous classics and bestsellers:

Pride and Prejudice (by Jane Austen)

“I found the story incredibly dated.” It was published in 1813.

“This is stupid. Why don't those girls simply get a job?”

“Jane Austen left out all the good bits!! Even where Mr Darcy comes out of the water with his shirt wet! It's absolutely the best part and it's not in the book at all!!!”

Rebecca (by Daphne du Maurier)

“This story needs editing.”

“I wish the house would burn down and kill all the characters inside.”

Wuthering Heights (by Emily Bronte)

“There is also animal cruelty, and most of the characters die off at an early age.”

“The book is not as good as the movie.”

Dracula (by Bram Stoker)

“The character of the count is a stereotyped kind of vampire you've already seen in two dozen movies.”  Stoker's Count Dracula is the original from which the stereotype evolved.

Carrie (by Stephen King)

“A bland tasteless book with no debth. The only part I enjoyed was the crazy mother.”

“Where's the Scarey? Boring!”

Grapes of Wrath (by John Steinbeck)

“What should I care about those people's problems? I have enough problems of my own.”

Bleak House (by Charles Dickens)

“I'm on page 300 and there is no end in sight.”

* * *

See? Hilarious! Some of those had me rolling. SMH. 

So in conclusion, readers, please review the books you read, especially indie books. And writers, try to take negative reviews with a grain of salt, and a little humor ;) 

I hope you've enjoyed this review-mashup! Thanks to Rayne Hall for contributing. You can check her books out HERE. And don't forget to review them too ;)

Be the lightning, 

Kylie Kerosene.

 }i{