Purpose

If it isn't killing you, 

It isn't your purpose in life. 

This may sound harsh and extreme at first, but think about it. From the moment we are born, we are dying. Life is death. Therefore, death is also life. That's not saying you should actively seek out a career path that will kill you, or take drugs that could kill you, or jump off a cliff; it simply means that you must pour your life into your passion. 

When you find your purpose in life, you will know it. You will know it not because it is easy, but because it is hard. It will pull the best parts of you out kicking and screaming, until you are forced to submit to the power inside you. And yes, there is power inside you. It flows through all of us. We just have to recognize it, and put it to use in a positive way.

I wrote a poem a few months ago about the power that flows through all of us. I don't know how good it is or if it goes well with this blog, but either way, here it is: 

 

 Now I'm going to get personal, but bear with me, I have a point.  

At least I hope I do.

When I first discovered video editing, I thought I'd found my purpose. It was and still is one of my biggest passions, but it is not my purpose. Then when I founded   RISE (Rape Incest & Suicide Education), I thought I'd found my purpose. But while helping people is definitely a huge part of everyone's purpose, and while I am extremely passionate about RISE, it's still not my purpose.

When I started writing as a child, I was nonchalant about it, and remained that way until recently. But with the creation of my newest literary endeavor, a series of science fiction novels, I honestly believe that I have finally found my purpose. Writing. Not just writing, but using words and images to attempt to pull out the best in people. Using fiction as a motivational tool. I'm not just saying this to promote my books, either. But I want you to understand how I came to this conclusion. Through writing these books and doing the painstaking illustrations for them, I am learning more about myself and the world than I ever imagined I could learn while being creative. I am learning that it is hard, but worth it. All good things are worth it, and all things worth it are hard. 

I don't yet have children (and if I ever do, they will become my purpose) but I know that many people see their children as their purpose in life. Bringing children into this world and raising them is a wonderful thing, but it is by no means an easy task. Childbirth itself is a testament to this. It is probably the most painful thing a woman will ever have to endure, but in the end, when she looks at her baby for the first time, it's worth it. The pain and suffering we go through while pursuing our purpose is a lot like childbirth. It's hard, but in the end, it's worth it. 

If it doesn't require all of your energy; 
if it doesn't make you cry and sweat and bleed; 
if it isn't killing you, then it isn't your purpose in life. 

So what's your purpose?
What's the one thing that is harder than anything else, but that you also want more than anything else? Don't be afraid to leap into the unknown. You can't have crops without reaping, and you can't have success without work. So when you find your purpose, jump in blindly with everything you have. Put the necessary work in, and in the end it will be worth it. Because everything hard is worth it, and everything worth it is hard. 

I'll Get By (Newest Video)

Footage: Alice In Wonderland.

Music: "Alice" by Avril Lavigne (from the soundtrack). 

 

I have overcome a lot in my lifetime. Rape, heartbreak, suicidal thoughts...  But all these things are mortal enemies, and they CAN be defeated. This video is my declaration of that fact. Not only for myself, but for whoever watches it. There IS hope. You are NOT alone. I founded a support group in 2008 called RISE (Rape Incest & Suicide Education). Check it out if you're interested. 

I experimented more with this video than I ever have, and I really hope you like it! I'm currently fighting yet another battle with a crippling injury called sciatica, and I was going to wait until I had completely defeated it before uploading this video, but then I decided to upload it anyway, as a sign of good faith. Because I've already survived so much, I'm not going to let this pain take me down. I've come a long way already, so here's to a full recovery!

I hope that whatever you're going through, or whatever you have gone through in the past, you can overcome it and RISE above it. And I hope this video gives you the strength to do that, like it's done for me. :)

Here it is: 

Until next time. Be The Lightning. ;)

 

 

Suicide Prevention Week

According to To Write Love On Her Arms, this week is National Suicide Prevention Week, and today (September 10th) is World Suicide Prevention Day. 

As you may already know, I founded R.I.S.E. (Rape Incest & Suicide Education) which aims to help those struggling with suicide to RISE above it and heal. Below is something I said to someone struggling with the loss of a loved one to suicide:

When we lose someone, especially in such a horrible way, such as suicide, it's important to remember them not for the way they left us, but for the way they lived. In stead of remembering all the grief caused by their passing, choose to remember all the good times you shared. That is the part of them that will live on forever. In the words of Dr. Seuss, "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."

I thought the above quote was perfect for this day. A day when so many are grieving their lost loved ones. Sometimes all we need is someone to listen to us with an understanding heart. That's why RISE is here. If you've lost someone to suicide, please reach out and talk to someone. And if you are having suicidal thoughts yourself, we are here for you too. Suicide is not the answer. Please reach out to someone. In addition to R.I.S.E. , here is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 

I'm no professional, and I've never personally lost anyone I loved to suicide, but I have come close a few times, and it is a scary thing. I can only imagine how awful it must be to lose a loved one to suicide, but just try to remember all the good times you shared with them. 

I've also had suicidal thoughts many times throughout my life, and if you're struggling, I can tell you it gets better. Whatever you might be struggling with, it's never worth taking your own life. Suicide doesn't make things better, it only eliminates the chances of things getting better! 

 Whether you are suffering from the loss of a loved one to suicide, or whether you yourself are suffering from depression and suicidal thoughts, I can only say one thing: 

You Are Not Alone!

I leave you with the latest R.I.S.E. video:

Keep Rising! 

-Kylie Kerosene 

(R.I.S.E. Founder) 

First. Blog. Ever.

I realized yesterday that it's kind of blasphemous for a writer such as myself to not have a blog. So, here I am. I've been writing for years, but I'm only now starting my very first blog. I feel like a kid. I'm way out of my league. But I figure if everybody else can do it, why can't I? Birds fly over the rainbow, so why can't I?!?

...Anyway... 

Where to start? 

I guess I'll "introduce myself" for those who don't know who I am and what I do.

 I'm a writer (in case you didn't catch that the first time). I began writing poetry when I was a little girl living in New Mexico, then poems turned into songs after my mother and I moved to Colorado, and then I started attempting to write short stories and novels. Back then, they were about things like fairies and princesses. I mean come on, I was a little girl. But now I'm all grown up, and the subject matter has changed. I'm currently working on a novel called Undying. It's the first book in a science fiction trilogy. It's been called "Twilight for robots" among other things. I can't say too much about it, except that it's more epic than I ever anticipated, and I'm so excited to get it out there.

I'm also a musician. Or at least I try to be. My mother (and everyone else in my life) was very musical when I was growing up. She taught piano, played the guitar, and sang. So of course it wasn't long until I was following in her footsteps. When my mother would give her piano lessons in the living room, I would hear them from my bedroom. One day, after a student left, I came out of my room, sat down at the piano, and played exactly what she had been teaching her student, simply from hearing it from the other room. After that, music exploded into my life, and I've been writing songs ever since, while attempting to play the piano, guitar, and penny whistle. I've had a few music projects over the years. My current project is TwinStar, which I started with my husband when we met. We mostly write songs inspired by themes and characters in horror and science fiction films. TwinStar can be found on Facebook, Youtube, and the long-forgotten Myspace. I am also working on getting some of my solo music out there, but we'll see what happens.

And, last but not least, I am a video editor. When I was young, I used to listen to music and make up little videos to the songs in my head. I would annoy my mother and whoever else was around with my little "timelines" of my imaginary music videos. I don't think I even knew what a music video was at that point, much less that I could actually be making them. Then, when I was a teenager living in Lexington KY, a family friend introduced me to video editing, and it was instantly my number one passion. I could finally get what was in my head out there for other people to see. It's been about 10 years, and it's still my passion. I make music videos of movies and video games on Youtube, and I also make videos for my support group R.I.S.E.

Speaking of which, I founded R.I.S.E. (Rape Incest & Suicide Education) in 2008, to help spread the word about these epidemics, and to help victims and survivors RISE above the past and begin healing. I've met some wonderful people over the years, some of which are kind enough to help out with R.I.S.E. I'm so grateful to them. Together, we are hopefully saving lives by helping people see that they are not alone, and that suicide is not the answer. If you're interested for any reason, we are on Facebook, Youtube, and Twitter. Also, our Spokesperson Rindi runs a blog for R.I.S.E.

I have yet to make any kind of profit from any of the activities above, but I don't mind. It's not about money. It's about doing what I love.

Other than all that, I'm just a woman, living in Kentucky, playing video games, listening to music, and watching movies and television. Wow, that sounds boring. Oh, also, I'm on an eternal quest to find the meaning of life, and to evolve as much as I can while I'm here. But aren't we all? ...Wait... Don't answer that...

In this thing we call a blog, I will post updates on projects I'm working on, random ramblings for your reading pleasure, and movie reviews and things of that nature. I will try to post once a week. But we'll see what happens.

This has been a blog (specifically the first blog ever) from your friendly neighborhood Kylie Kerosene. Yes, I stole that line from Spider-Man. I forgot to tell you I'm also a bit of a nerd. Surprise!